Single men that suffer from anxiety have a problem. In general, women are attracted to more than simply looks and money. They're attracted to body language. They're attracted to men that appear confident – men that look like they have value.
Understanding Female Attraction
One of the issues is that men don't fully understand female attraction. They think being very nice and kind and sweet is enough to win someone over, especially in a world where a lot of men are rude, insensitive, and self-centered. But what men often forget is that women, like men, want someone that is "better than them." They want to believe that they earned the affection of the other person, not vice versa. They are attracted to someone that can get any woman he wants, but chooses her, just as most men are attracted to women that can get any guy they want, and chooses him.
So when you show anxiety-laden body language, you appear as though you are less confident in yourself. If you go up and talk to someone at a bar or social event, and you show that you have a lot of anxiety, it gives the impression (whether true or untrue) that you believe the woman you're speaking with is better than you and that you're intimidated by trying to earn her. You may have a great deal of confidence and be a great catch, but if you show this type of body language, that is going to be how you appear.
Examples of Anxious Body Language
The body language of anxiety often mimics the body language of someone that is of low confidence, and someone that is trying too hard to please someone. Examples of this type of body language include:
- Closed Off – When you sit or stand, a person with anxiety closes in on themselves. They keep their legs close together, their hands on their laps, and they appear to shy away from people around them. Confident males without anxiety are not afraid to spread out. They spread their legs, they put their arms out, and they take up space.
- Nervous Ticks – Anxiety can also cause small ticks and little behaviors that give the impression of low confidence. For example, you may touch your face a lot, shake your legs, cross your arms, etc. All of these are ticks that occur when you're nervous, and all of them make you appear as though you have little confidence.
- Afraid to Be Close – Confident men are able to touch someone they're talking to or lean in close when necessary. Anxious men tend to avoid anything that resembles touching and move away if they get too close.
- Eye Contact – A man suffering from anxiety may show two separate eye contact issues. They may provide no eye contact at all, because they're feeling too much anxiety to stare someone in the eyes. Or they may show too much eye contact because they're trying too hard to please. Either way, it can be a turnoff for single women.
The body language of anxiety and the body language of someone of low confidence are both very similar, and both prevent you from building attraction in women.
The Solution to the Problem
There are two types of solutions to this issue. First, you should consider addressing your anxiety and anxiety symptoms in general. The less anxiety you have naturally, the more easily you'll be able to talk with members of the opposite sex without showing this type of body language. Second, you should try showing confident body language when you're out and about, even if it doesn't feel natural. Some research has shown that men that fake confident body language actually feel less anxiety and more confidence over time.
Anxiety can have a fairly profound effect on your ability to impress women. Make sure you combat your anxiety and deal with any of your issues if you want to have success in the dating world.
About the Author: Ryan Rivera suffered from a host of anxiety problems that affected his personal life, but he's since addressed them all with tips he discusses at www.calmclinic.com.